10 Reasons To Lose The Fat
10 Rules Of Fat Loss
Why, you ask? Well, keep reading and I’ll tell ya.
These may or may not be in order of importance, so shuffle them as you like
Reason 1: Your boyfriend dumped you for that skinny blonde that’s always showing her cleavage at the donut shop.
That’s right, it happens to all of us sometimes. The best revenge is to show him what he gave up. Get a new hairdo, get some new boobs, get rich quick, and lose that extra weight you’ve been meaning to tackle. By the way, you can try to buy yourself some arm candy too, to make him jealous with a capital J.
Some of these I can help you with, the others you will have to achieve on your own. If I could give you new boobs, then I wouldn’t be writing this.. I’d be in the operating room right now! I’m not a hairdresser either. You should see the butcher job I do on the family poodle.
I definitely can’t get you rich, heck I’m still trying to figure out how to get myself rich. What I can do is recommend a weight loss product that you can check out to lose the fat now. Lose that weight quickly, and then show him your new body and newly found confidence. Wouldn’t hurt to do a little bit of reading on how to get your ex back either.
Reason #2:
Your husband left you for his secretary. See #1.
Reason #3:
You are interviewing for a new job. If you are, you are one of the very lucky few these days. You want to make sure you can fit into that interview suit you wore fifteen years ago when you got your last position. The position where you worked for your husband, and now you’re replaced by Miss Big Boobs.
Reason #4:
Class reunion. Yep, this is a big one. Fifteen years have gone by and you get out your cheerleading outfit because you just know you can fit into it if you try hard enough. Then maybe your high school sweetheart, Hunk McGillicutty will wish he never let you go.
Uh-oh, guess what – too fat! If you can easily squeeze into it, then read no further – you need advice on how to get your ex-boyfriend back instead.
Reason #5:
Last year’s bathing suit. How do they manage to shrink up while being stored for the winter? Lose the fat now!
Reason #6:
Golf season. Time to put on the sexy golf skirt and show off those svelte legs. If you can, there may be dinner with a pro in your future – a golf-pro that is. Watch out Lorena Ochoa. Fat Loss 4 Idiots will get you on your journey with some great fat burning tips and techniques.
Reason #7:
The full length mirror. Why isn’t mirror a four-letter word? One of life’s great mysteries. Probably because the people that hang one over their bed don’t have dimples and love handles to look at.
Reason #8:
You still have your Pregnancy Fat and your baby is 13 years old. My, how time flies!
Reason #9:
Your upcoming flight to Hawaii to celebrate your newly found freedom. Wow, do you know yet how humiliating it is to ask for a seat belt extender? Actually, you don’t even have to ask. The flight attendant takes one snooty look at you and asks you really loudly if you need one of “those things”.
Reason #10:
Okay, I guess I have to talk about your health. The nasty fat accumulated around your middle or hips will start to have an adverse affect on your insides. Your arteries, heart, blood pressure, etc. will all thank you when you lose the fat.
Now I have to do my last good deed and remind you that studies show that extra weight increases your chances of getting breast cancer.
There you have it – now get off your butt and lose the fat!
